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UPDATE: Yeah, Um, This Is The Official Piranha 3D Teaser Trailer
“What’s it sayin’, Nic? What is it girl?”Update: Weinsteins for the win. Well, looks like those two oblong-shaped bastards felt like teasing you with only the idea of a teaser. Unfortunately every...
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Universal Soldier IV 3D: Dopey, Damme And Dolph
And the award for Most Highbrow Photoshop Concept goes to…not Chodin!If in 1992 you had stepped out of a time machine and said, “Hey queer, in the future there will be a fourth installment of Universal...
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Awake Thy Greasy Sax Man, Lost Boys: The Thirst Trailer
For everyone wearing a wristwatch right now, I’d like you all to please take a close look at the long and short hands of your clock. If you look carefully enough, you’ll notice that at this exact...
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Morning Links With The Choice Of A New Generation
Happy Thursday, Drunkards and Drunkettes! Vinnie’s teaching grown adults in Dragonball costumes what push-ups are while they wait in line for the “Saying Inception Was Brilliant Makes You Cooler” forum...
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Joss Whedon Confirms Directing The Avengers, Fans Confirm Erections
Am I the only one who feels like these red bumps just won’t go away The Avengers project has been hanging around for, oh I don’t know, say 30 years now? Hell, we’ve already exhausted ourselves on every...
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Hey Michelle Rodriguez, Why The Hell Do You Die In Every Movie?
Rodriguez on the set of her bio pic.Oh GAWD, hide the good silverware and lock that deadbolt -it’s only been a day since we last mentioned Michelle Rodriguez and she’s already back to turn us all into...
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Joaquin Claus Is Not Real: Phoenix Doc ‘I’m Still Here’ An Admitted Fake
Well, now all the nonbelievers can finally add Disheveled Joaquin Phoenix to their list of imaginary holiday figures -Casey Affleck has officially revealed to the New York Times that his upcoming...
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This Should Be Terrifying: Warner Bros. Preps Live-Action Pinocchio
Hey Warner Bros., quick, I think I see one last memento from my childhood that you can desecrate! In what could very well be the most frightening production ever, the studio is looking to bring a...
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Guns, Horses & Insecurities: Reporting From the Set of True Grit XXX
I once read that "gun" was a euphemism for "large penis".When I arrived on set it was a little before 9:00am. That meant I was early. I figured that if ever there was an opportunity to be on time for...
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Chodin Reviews: The Gruesome Death of Tommy Pistol
Sometimes people send me DVDs to review, and I have to call for back-up. In this case, Chodin. Just a reminder that the views laid forth here are his, not mine. I don’t know how a person can complain...
View ArticleFriday Free For All: News Fail Compilation Edition
Friday Free for All is the time of the week that Vince reserves for the funny, amazing, or stupid videos people send him that aren’t necessarily movie related. Sometimes he posts them without this...
View Article‘Waste Land’ Rights Acquired: Brazilian Junk On U.S. Screens
Oh thank God, just when I’d seen enough footage of all the ridiculously attractive people in Brazil, Arthouse Films crashes through the window and levels the playing field. Apparently, perfect glutes...
View ArticleComments of the Week: An Education now out on DVD
This is how they 69'd in Victorian times SITE NEWS BRIEF: Well, kids, daddy’s home. I can tell you all missed me by the way you kept telling Burnsy I’m not your real father and clung to Chodin’s leg as...
View ArticleFAMILY MEETING
Pictured: A family and their home-made Twilight Halloween costumes. Not pictured: A father figure. Okay, guys, don’t freak out, but I have some business to attend to tomorrow, so I must leave you in...
View ArticleHollywood Sign Saved By Naked Girls and Cocaine
It brings tears of joy to my eyes any time that I get to see a group of greed-stricken individuals put their differences aside and work together in the hopes of overthrowing a rival group of...
View ArticleSTEERS, QUEERS AND . . . KIM BASINGER???
Kim Basinger is in talks to join Zac Efron in the screen adaptation of the book The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud with Burr Steers attached to direct. Variety reports: Basinger would play the...
View ArticleHUGH GRANT’S BREAKTHROUGH PERFORMANCE
Above you’ll find the trailer for Columbia Pictures’ Did You Hear About The Morgans?, starring Hugh Grant and Sarah Jessica Parker. From the looks of things, this appears to be the Oscar vehicle both...
View ArticleOH THWEET, BRYAN THINGER & BATTLETHTAR
(in space, no one can hear your lisp) I hope everyone refilled their inhalers this weekend, because I’ve got Battlestar Galactica movie news to PWN your recessive genes with. Universal Pictures has...
View ArticleREDFORD DIRECTS HIS PERIOD ON LINCOLN’S FACE
Robert Redford is helmed to direct a historical drama about Mary Surratt, the supposed conspirator in the assassination plot of Abraham Lincoln. Redford’s story will surround both Surratt and a Union...
View ArticleDUDE WITH ALL MY MONEY IS A HUMANITARIAN?
(photo was taken on August 27th, 1999 at precisely 9:52pm Mountain Standard Time) Via the Hollywood Reporter, AMC Entertainment film president Samuel “Sonny” Gourley is set to receive the Salah M....
View ArticleSCOTT, DENZEL AND PINE RUN TRAIN ON DAWSON
(that train engine is actually 60 feet long) Variety reports that Rosario Dawson has just joined the cast of Tony Scott’s upcoming Unstoppable alongside Denzel Washington and Chris Pine. Scheduled to...
View ArticleTHIS TRAILER IS ON COCAINE
My Lord, if ever there was a trailer that could just not SHUT THE F–K UP, this is surely it. Excuse me *cough* what I meant to say is that after the jump, I’ve got the hilarious, new trailer for the...
View ArticleZEMECKIS PACKS DISNEY’S YELLOW SUB PIPE
Okay, now I’ve never heard of these dudes before, but I guess there is this band called The Beatles and apparently they’ve had a couple of hits over years…I guess. It’s hard to tell if they’re popular...
View ArticleCLIVE OWEN KILLS WIFE WITH COMPLIMENT
(Serious Cat knows the truth, Clive) *checks Flavor Flav clock necklace* Well I’ll be damned, it’s that time of the week again! Time for me to introduce yet another movie trailer that will turn your...
View ArticleH.GRANT TO QUIT ACTING, FOCUS ON HARLOTS
(one of these people did not give up acting *hint* she burned-the-f–k out) Despite his muscular stature, defined facial features and gold-tanned skin, Hugh Grant is apparently more insecure than Rocky...
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TONY JAA AND GIANT HALF NAKED DUDE FLIRT
(Tony Jaa attempts to call a “timeout” in the honeymoon suite) I’m not really sure that Tony Jaa understands how to make love to a guy twice his girth size. In this recent clip from Ong Bak 2 you’ll...
View ArticleVIDEO GAME ABORTION BACK ON SCHEDULE
I just wanted to let you all know that it’s totally safe to stop wearing your seat belts, going to church or continuing your leukemia treatment, because thanks to another video game film adaptation,...
View ArticleULTIMATE C-BLOCK: KIDS WHO TRY TO KILL YOU
As if I wasn’t already turned on enough at the thought of spilling my seed inside a woman, her getting pregnant and then behaving like a b-tch for 9 months, there is a new “people die around this...
View ArticleGALIFIANAKIS WILL EAT YOU OUT FOR “DINNER”
(Daddy, why do they use communion wine to test the mattresses?) Variety repots that Zach Galifianakis is in negotiations to join the cast of director Jay Roach’s upcoming comedy Dinner for Schmucks....
View ArticleCATHETERS IN VEGAS: THE MOVIE
Variety first broke this story last Thursday, but to be honest, I reeeaaally didn’t want to accept what I had heard. So, in an attempt to completely erase all knowledge of this project from my memory,...
View ArticleWILLIAMS ASKED TO PLAY ANOTHER HOT BRIT
By now, my mom has probably sent everyone an internet link regarding the uplifting story of Susan Boyle, the Shrek-like singing sensation from the U.K. TV program “Britain’s Got Talent”. Well, since...
View ArticleDIABLO CODY BANGS OUT VALLEY HIGH TWINS
(Dear Penthouse Forum…) Looks like everyones favorite birth name is back in the news today (relax dude, it’s not you). Diablo Cody has signed on (presumably in the brightest sparkle crayon she could...
View ArticleNO IPOD REQUIRED: ‘PETER AND VANDY’ TRAILER
(Jason Ritter: the man with four eyebrows) Those f–king hipsters will just not let up, man. This is the “official” trailer for Peter and Vandy, a film I already want to punch in the boob, purely based...
View ArticleARCHIE & JUGHEAD SCORE CRACK IN HOLLYWOOD
It is with swollen balls and hairy chaffed palms that I report this sad news: the entertainment agency CAA has just acquired the rights to Archie Comics Publications. As if the concept of a redheaded...
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TWO KOSHER DUDES DO "DEEP THROAT"
Time to dust off the ol’ boner time machine and drop those acid stamps kids, because today we’re traveling back to the year 1972 with porno starlet, Linda Lovelace (born Linda Boreman). It has just...
View ArticleSCORSESE CONSIDERS 12-YEAR-OLD ORPHAN BOY
(“Matthew, I need you to change your name…and that stupid face, alright?”) Stop working on that sh–ty Boston accent already and listen up, because I’ve got Martin Scorsese movie news to curb stomp you...
View ArticleHUGH JACKMAN TO ROBO BOX IN MICHIGAN
(Oh right, like I’m the a–hole for trying to make the picture relevant.) Good news, Michigan: haha, no we haven’t fixed your sh–ty economy yet, but the Detroit Free Press is confirming that director...
View ArticleJOHN C. REILLY DATES JONAH HILL'S MOM
(“Now repeat, I…will not eat all of the Advent chocolates on the first day.”) After the jump, I’ve got the trailer for Cyrus, the latest project from writing/directing, brother duo, Jay Duplass and...
View ArticleAVATAR: SECOND HIGHEST DOMESTIC BOX OFFICE EVER
Apparently Avatar was more productive than me this weekend, though I’m quite adamant with my roommates that I could have sold that ounce for a whole lot less. Earning an additional $36 million since...
View ArticleMORTAL KOMBAT REMAKE: TECHNO FANS REJOICE
(Meet Kim: the resident, fraternity dojo ho) F–k me, I can already hear the Mitsubishi car stereos coming up the block. In what seems like another elaborate NBC-funded, Conan O’Brien finale sketch,...
View ArticleFOX WANTS TO F–K WITH WRONG MEXICAN
Undisputedly, Danny Trejo is pretty cool. Now stick a giant fu–ing knife in his hand and watch that coolness grow exponentially by 8%. It’s simple mathematics, dipsh-t. An equation so elementary that...
View Article3-D GLASSES: CLEANER THAN YOUR BALLS?
(Eric the Irreverent Dog didn’t clean his glasses either, because Eric just doesn’t give a sh-t.) Few things are filthier than using your own mouth to feed circulated dollar bills through a stripper’s...
View ArticleBURTON SUPPLIES HEAD FOR CANNES JURY
(Tim unveils the Calista Flockhart action figurine.) No need to sugarcoat the penis head on this post, pretty awesome news to report: Tim Burton will serve as President of this year’s Cannes Film...
View ArticleCANE TOADS PARTY IN 3-D AT SUNDANCE
Cane toads are a lot like my ex girlfriends, so naturally I feel justified wearing this name tag (*points to sticker on chest: Hello my name is TOAD EXPERT*). But really, the similarities are uncanny:...
View ArticleCHINA ACTING CHINESE: RENAMES MOUNTAIN AFTER AVATAR
Oh China, you silly little kingdom, you. I feel a burning desire to berate you like a puppy that just dumped ass on the carpet, and yet I can’t help but admire your absolutely insane antics. In what...
View ArticleHARK! I'VE BROUGHT NEW CYRUS CLIPS
Earlier this week I emerged from the woods and presented you all with the first trailer for Cyrus, starring John C. Reilly, an oval Jonah Hill and Marisa Tomei. Well, yesterday I once again returned...
View ArticleCANCER CURE CAN WAIT, 3D PORN COMES FIRST
(“CHECK OUT HER BOX!!!”) Friends, family, fat people…the future is upon us. Forget your iPads (Apple hates a heavy flow) and human genomes: 3D porn is near. Even more overwhelming, Caligula director,...
View ArticleBIRDEMIC: SHOCK AND TERROR – CHODIN’S REVIEW
A bird for a bird. Well played ‘Birdemic’, well played. *stands up, clears throat, wipes sweat from brow* Hello everybody, my name is Chodin…and I….I’ve seen Birdemic: Shock and Terror. Phew, now that...
View ArticleSITE NEWS
Greetings, folks. Just like I always warned, I won’t be around to clean up your messes tomorrow. I’m currently en route to Las Vegas, where I’ll be volunteering at the abandoned puppy shelter. These...
View ArticleHoly Sh-t: Birdemic Giveaway Day Two!
(Just imagine, you could wear your very own purple shirt to the screening.) Yesterday, prior to his homoerotic departure into the woods, Vince had promised you all a second chance to win encore...
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