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CATHETERS IN VEGAS: THE MOVIE

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Variety first broke this story last Thursday, but to be honest, I reeeaaally didn’t want to accept what I had heard. So, in an attempt to completely erase all knowledge of this project from my memory, I spent the weekend doing what any virile, young man would have done: drinking moonshine and flicking wadded up dollar bills at underage strippers. Try as I might, I still couldn’t shake the nightmares:

Peter Chelsom (director of Hannah Montana: The Movie) has been chosen by CBS Films to direct Last Vegas, a movie concept so f–king lame that even as I sit here watching this VH1 dating show, it still sounds pretty asinine.

The comedy — which CBS originally acquired as a $1 million pitch — centers on four semi-retired baby boomers who head to Las Vegas when the last of the Coney Island buddies, a successful lawyer in his 60s, decides to tie the knot.

Man, this Chelsom guy really lucked out with his timing, what-with the success of The Hangover and all. Oh, you mean this wasn’t a coincidence after all?

While there might be comparisons made between “Vegas” and “The Hangover,”Chelsom said the Todd Phillips comedy helps his film, in terms of opening the door for another Vegas-set bachelor-party comedy [no sh-t, Sherlock] .

So basically this dude went to The Hangover and then pitched the same concept for $1 million dollars, substituting baby boomers for the lead characters? And CBS Films took the bait? Really?! Man, that’s like dangling a sweaty turd in front of a horse and being like, “Look horse, I know this isn’t a carrot, but would you like this piece of sh-t instead?” Only then, unexpectedly the horse says, ” I love pieces of sh-t! Here’s one million dollars.”


-Chodin


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