SCOTT, DENZEL AND PINE RUN TRAIN ON DAWSON
(that train engine is actually 60 feet long) Variety reports that Rosario Dawson has just joined the cast of Tony Scott’s upcoming Unstoppable alongside Denzel Washington and Chris Pine. Scheduled to...
View ArticleTHIS TRAILER IS ON COCAINE
My Lord, if ever there was a trailer that could just not SHUT THE F–K UP, this is surely it. Excuse me *cough* what I meant to say is that after the jump, I’ve got the hilarious, new trailer for the...
View ArticleZEMECKIS PACKS DISNEY’S YELLOW SUB PIPE
Okay, now I’ve never heard of these dudes before, but I guess there is this band called The Beatles and apparently they’ve had a couple of hits over years…I guess. It’s hard to tell if they’re popular...
View ArticleCLIVE OWEN KILLS WIFE WITH COMPLIMENT
(Serious Cat knows the truth, Clive) *checks Flavor Flav clock necklace* Well I’ll be damned, it’s that time of the week again! Time for me to introduce yet another movie trailer that will turn your...
View ArticleH.GRANT TO QUIT ACTING, FOCUS ON HARLOTS
(one of these people did not give up acting *hint* she burned-the-f–k out) Despite his muscular stature, defined facial features and gold-tanned skin, Hugh Grant is apparently more insecure than Rocky...
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TONY JAA AND GIANT HALF NAKED DUDE FLIRT
(Tony Jaa attempts to call a “timeout” in the honeymoon suite) I’m not really sure that Tony Jaa understands how to make love to a guy twice his girth size. In this recent clip from Ong Bak 2 you’ll...
View ArticleVIDEO GAME ABORTION BACK ON SCHEDULE
I just wanted to let you all know that it’s totally safe to stop wearing your seat belts, going to church or continuing your leukemia treatment, because thanks to another video game film adaptation,...
View ArticleULTIMATE C-BLOCK: KIDS WHO TRY TO KILL YOU
As if I wasn’t already turned on enough at the thought of spilling my seed inside a woman, her getting pregnant and then behaving like a b-tch for 9 months, there is a new “people die around this...
View ArticleGALIFIANAKIS WILL EAT YOU OUT FOR “DINNER”
(Daddy, why do they use communion wine to test the mattresses?) Variety repots that Zach Galifianakis is in negotiations to join the cast of director Jay Roach’s upcoming comedy Dinner for Schmucks....
View ArticleCATHETERS IN VEGAS: THE MOVIE
Variety first broke this story last Thursday, but to be honest, I reeeaaally didn’t want to accept what I had heard. So, in an attempt to completely erase all knowledge of this project from my memory,...
View ArticleWILLIAMS ASKED TO PLAY ANOTHER HOT BRIT
By now, my mom has probably sent everyone an internet link regarding the uplifting story of Susan Boyle, the Shrek-like singing sensation from the U.K. TV program “Britain’s Got Talent”. Well, since...
View ArticleDIABLO CODY BANGS OUT VALLEY HIGH TWINS
(Dear Penthouse Forum…) Looks like everyones favorite birth name is back in the news today (relax dude, it’s not you). Diablo Cody has signed on (presumably in the brightest sparkle crayon she could...
View ArticleNO IPOD REQUIRED: ‘PETER AND VANDY’ TRAILER
(Jason Ritter: the man with four eyebrows) Those f–king hipsters will just not let up, man. This is the “official” trailer for Peter and Vandy, a film I already want to punch in the boob, purely based...
View ArticleARCHIE & JUGHEAD SCORE CRACK IN HOLLYWOOD
It is with swollen balls and hairy chaffed palms that I report this sad news: the entertainment agency CAA has just acquired the rights to Archie Comics Publications. As if the concept of a redheaded...
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TWO KOSHER DUDES DO "DEEP THROAT"
Time to dust off the ol’ boner time machine and drop those acid stamps kids, because today we’re traveling back to the year 1972 with porno starlet, Linda Lovelace (born Linda Boreman). It has just...
View ArticleSCORSESE CONSIDERS 12-YEAR-OLD ORPHAN BOY
(“Matthew, I need you to change your name…and that stupid face, alright?”) Stop working on that sh–ty Boston accent already and listen up, because I’ve got Martin Scorsese movie news to curb stomp you...
View ArticleHUGH JACKMAN TO ROBO BOX IN MICHIGAN
(Oh right, like I’m the a–hole for trying to make the picture relevant.) Good news, Michigan: haha, no we haven’t fixed your sh–ty economy yet, but the Detroit Free Press is confirming that director...
View ArticleJOHN C. REILLY DATES JONAH HILL'S MOM
(“Now repeat, I…will not eat all of the Advent chocolates on the first day.”) After the jump, I’ve got the trailer for Cyrus, the latest project from writing/directing, brother duo, Jay Duplass and...
View ArticleAVATAR: SECOND HIGHEST DOMESTIC BOX OFFICE EVER
Apparently Avatar was more productive than me this weekend, though I’m quite adamant with my roommates that I could have sold that ounce for a whole lot less. Earning an additional $36 million since...
View ArticleMORTAL KOMBAT REMAKE: TECHNO FANS REJOICE
(Meet Kim: the resident, fraternity dojo ho) F–k me, I can already hear the Mitsubishi car stereos coming up the block. In what seems like another elaborate NBC-funded, Conan O’Brien finale sketch,...
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